When I became a mama, that tucked away self began seeping through cracks created by insecurity in motherhood and postpartum depression. I turned thirty while pregnant with my first daughter, and I could hold back no longer. My "true" self came rushing through every pore of my body. It hurt. It was liberating, enlightening.
I was unsure of how to be this freed self. I felt alienated from those who didn't not share my beliefs as I was constantly berated, questioned and turned defensive. I became reclusive. The longer I was in my own world the harder and harder it was to be in the collective world. I developed a social phobia.
|image: blackbird letterpress|
I have spent many a moons hibernating. My cub bearing days are over and spring is right around the corner. I feel as though it might be time for this Mama Bear to wake up, saunter out and settle into her new self.